Tag Archives: facebook

Rules and roadblocks

Social media play a big role in many people’s lives today (mine included, admittedly). Sometimes they create situations which probably wouldn’t have arisen in the past. To set the stage: I’m old enough (over 30) and have lived enough different places (7, only counting locations where I’ve stayed for more than a year) that I’ve gotten acquainted with a large number of people (for one measuring stick, I have 1,657 Facebook friends). On the other hand, my current whereabouts are remote enough that the chance of running into anyone I know from a previous time/place is virtually nil. I’m also single at an age where more and more family members, friends and acquaintances are getting married and/or having kids if they haven’t passed those milestones already.

The unwritten rule that I generally obey is to not seek regular contact (much less “reconnect” by phone, email, etc.) with any female friend whom I know to be married or otherwise spoken for. Some might find that policy extreme, but I’d prefer to avoid any potential misunderstandings; I’m certainly amenable if and when anyone wants to contact me or wonders how I’m doing, and I’ll leave it at that. What becomes a real gray area is the less direct form of connection that can be found in certain social media.

Example 1: I got an auto-email the other day telling me “someone you may know is now on Twitter” and suggesting I follow her. I do indeed know the person because I dated her, albeit in a period which sometimes seems like another lifetime. We haven’t been in contact the past few years, but my normal action would be to follow her because I’m genuinely curious as to where she lives, what she’s doing and all that. However, practically the one thing I do know about her is that she’s married. Thus, does following her equate to breaking that unwritten rule?

Example 2: I have another acquaintance–not an ex, just someone I thought well of in high school when I could barely talk to a girl–who’s now a teacher and the author of an interesting blog. I commented on it once, back when I joined wordpress a couple of years ago and found her journal (or perhaps I’d already read it from a Facebook link, not sure). Just tonight I clicked back onto it as a link from another blog which i sometimes peruse. I was momentarily moved to write another comment or two since I honestly identify with some of her material and find it useful to consider in relation to my own life. Once again, seeing as how she’s married and has at least one kid, the unwritten no-contact rule reared its head. 

Oh well…call them #firstworldoldsingledudeproblems I suppose!

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To Say It All

Recently I posted a “new” profile pic on facebook. (obviously if you’re fb friends with me you’ll see it, but I haven’t been sharing posts made here in a while, so most reading this are probably strangers who stumbled across it.) The photo is a few years old, dating to September 2008 or thereabouts. It’s pretty obviously a camera phone self-portrait and was never intended for a larger audience. Nevertheless, when I came across it the other day while doing some computer cleanup, I really liked something about it. Judging by the online reaction, I’m not alone.

The picture was from a very different time and place in my life. As one might guess, it was originally sent to a significant other. Does that make it wrong for me to let hundreds of mostly not-so-significant others see it now? I don’t think so–for one thing, no one else is even in the picture. It’s just me sitting in my car (hopefully not actually driving at the time) and smiling. I think I shared it for two reasons. One, I wanted to put up something happy-looking, so maybe it could brighten somebody else’s day a little bit. Two, perhaps it was a reminder to myself.

Anyway, it’s bedtime (plus at least a couple of hours). I could hope for another generally pleasant trip down memory lane like I had in last night’s dream (certainly worthy of a post in itself), but I doubt that’ll be possible before the alarm rings this morning!

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First, I just want to see if this posts to fb automatically or not, I may have been sharing entries redundantly. But while I’m on here, a brief update…

Tonight’s flight served as my “rec ride”, meaning if I did well enough I would be recommended to progress to a check ride on my next one. It wasn’t perfect, but I battled my way through and I suppose Friday is now the big day. Though I haven’t actually earned anything yet, I have managed to make it farther than several others who came before me. I’ll get as well-prepared as I can and then see how things go Friday.

My waking, non-working hours (such as they occur) have been improved by listening almost nonstop to the new Gaslight Anthem album. I plan to see them in concert at least once in the next couple of months as well, though of course they’re not coming anywhere within a few hours of here…

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First post, second try

First, something I happened across earlier today, one of a string of tennis-related videos (inspired by the Australian Open, of course):

Andy Murray street magic

Seems clear that Andy : tennis :: Brodie Smith : ultimate! (ok, maybe Andy has to add to his trick-shot body of work to be mentioned with Brodie.)

Anyway, I’m not sure livejournal has aged very well in the almost 7 years I’ve been using it, so why not give something else a shot. I know at least a few people who are or have been wordpress users, despite the fact that the site just told it couldn’t find any of my facebook friends on here. Eh, not a show-stopper.

I think I’ll be writing more about music in this blog, though I’ll be honest and not tell myself or anyone else that it won’t sometimes include periodic ramblings in which I use a lot of words to say very little! Anyway, to all those who make their way here, thanks for reading and I welcome your feedback.


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