It seems a foreign and atrophied skill.  Clearly it hasn’t been practiced in quite a while on this page, at the least!  Still, in some sense, the very irrelevancy and antiquated nature of the blog post feeds my desire to make such a digital contribution.  Connectedness be dammmed, it’s not facebook, it’s not insta, and it’s definitely not fouking snapchat (haha). It’s anachronistic and altogether appropriate.  Hey, where’s the space where I put what song I’m listening to?

(July for Kings – Kite)

Oh is this still a thing?

Probably not. But I must not forget that it feels good to write once in a while, even for a math nerd. The potential powder keg is people seeing, and reacting to, my writing. I don’t mean that in a political sense, as I’m not here to instigate an uprising or shatter the status quo. I’ve historically been “here” (and previously on my livejournal) to reflect, and hopefully better understand, my own experiences. Nevertheless, real and significant things have happened in my life as a direct result of journal posts. Some have been wondrous and some have been devastating. None of those posts are going to un-write themselves, though. I understand the risks in this endeavor. That said, I’ve proven that I can get through personal turmoil, and I hold out hope that regardless of any rebound upon me, my past and future writings can have a positive effect on someone.


Been away a long time, it seems. I must say that in contravention of potential implications of this post’s title, and certainly in comparison to several previous Mays, this month hasn’t included a huge deal of professional or personal upheaval. Things have (mostly) been nice and chill. Plenty of things I could write about and hopefully will not too far down the road. Probably going back to watching House of Cards for the time being!

Artifakts revisited

I’ve once again realized in retrospect that a previous posting reflects an overly, baselessly negative viewpoint. I want to clarify here that I predominantly feel a sense of awe and gratitude, when I really reflect, for the places I’ve been able to go and the things I’ve been able to do since 2007. I’ve experienced so much that many of the individual moments become nearly forgotten, refreshed only when I pull up a particular official form, chart, log or synopsis. Although many of my family and friends have also done amazing things, I can’t think of anyone for whose life events (in a comparable period such as age 24-31) I’d trade my own. Yes, I do get unhappy and frustrated sometimes; the frustration often comes from circumstances mostly or completely out of my control, and as such, I just have to continue to limit those reactions and redirect my thoughts.


Today I’ve been cleaning out the boxes that accompanied my move from Clovis to Savannah. That process results in so many trips down memory lane–and so many longings for someone who could place those notes, those handouts, those official forms, somewhere in the proper context of the last 7 years of my life. But seeking out that someone is like feeling, as Soul Asylum put it so eloquently, “homesick for the home I’ve never had.”

Odd Man

So here’s a story. I’m out around town with a few friends–not anyone super close, just guys I know from work. They’re talking pretty constantly about where we can go to find women. I, having no woman to call my own, don’t object. However, over the course of the evening it becomes clear that each of my four colleagues either is married or has a girlfriend (some in “different zip codes”). After a few moments of indecision, I decide to part ways with them and go home. I’m no angel myself and I definitely don’t offer any moral judgments, but in my mind some things are unacceptable. So I walk home, on my own, while the rest of the guys are doing who knows what (or whom). Happy halloween!

Another (better?) flat land

Well, I no longer live on the Llano Estacado. Perhaps that merits a change to the name of this journal, but as opposed to the solid 6+ years I spent writing (at least intermittently) on LJ, I don’t feel like I’ve been here on WordPress long enough to change up anything drastic.

Perhaps the biggest intangible change of the past 3 years or so is that I’ve been knocked way down off my high horse. I don’t intend that statement as some kind of complaint, indictment or expression of negativity and I don’t want anyone to interpret it that way (I’m looking at you, Mom). It simply signifies that back in 2011, even in parts of 2012, I had a lot of false confidence. I combined that with a not-so-healthy dose of irresponsibility. Looking at the recent past and the present, I can see that I’ve lost much of that veneer but gained what I judge an equal measure of responsibility. To use the analogy that I feel like I’ve made a thousand times, I see through a soberer set of eyes. Would I like to have the best of both worlds? Of course–who doesn’t?

The Brumby Poll

My personal top 10 Spikeball rankings, post-regionals edition. More info to come in a later post or possibly on Spikeballers.com!

1. Chico Spikeball – Skyler Boles & Shaun Boyer
2. Handsome Beavers – Buddy Hammon & Bryce Clifford
3. Frazzled Navels – Austin Fraker & Tyler Griffin
4. Life From Mars – Kyle Kirkman & John Schumacher
5. Nashburgh Spikeball – Joel Graham & Scott Wilson
6. McCarthy Industries – Peter McCarthy & Danny McCarthy
7. V2 – Tom Cortesi & Patrick Drucker
8. Ball Blasters – Kit Ryan & Chadwick Wickersham
9. Interracial Lovin’ – Dennis Phan & Matt Maddox
10. Fluff – Ian Golembeski & Cole Parker


Exit Clovis

The most ironically perfect sign I’ve seen in a long time.
I’ve been living and working here for almost 3 years. That’s something…I don’t know what it is, but it’s something. It changed me. Will I be able to change myself back?

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Rules and roadblocks

Social media play a big role in many people’s lives today (mine included, admittedly). Sometimes they create situations which probably wouldn’t have arisen in the past. To set the stage: I’m old enough (over 30) and have lived enough different places (7, only counting locations where I’ve stayed for more than a year) that I’ve gotten acquainted with a large number of people (for one measuring stick, I have 1,657 Facebook friends). On the other hand, my current whereabouts are remote enough that the chance of running into anyone I know from a previous time/place is virtually nil. I’m also single at an age where more and more family members, friends and acquaintances are getting married and/or having kids if they haven’t passed those milestones already.

The unwritten rule that I generally obey is to not seek regular contact (much less “reconnect” by phone, email, etc.) with any female friend whom I know to be married or otherwise spoken for. Some might find that policy extreme, but I’d prefer to avoid any potential misunderstandings; I’m certainly amenable if and when anyone wants to contact me or wonders how I’m doing, and I’ll leave it at that. What becomes a real gray area is the less direct form of connection that can be found in certain social media.

Example 1: I got an auto-email the other day telling me “someone you may know is now on Twitter” and suggesting I follow her. I do indeed know the person because I dated her, albeit in a period which sometimes seems like another lifetime. We haven’t been in contact the past few years, but my normal action would be to follow her because I’m genuinely curious as to where she lives, what she’s doing and all that. However, practically the one thing I do know about her is that she’s married. Thus, does following her equate to breaking that unwritten rule?

Example 2: I have another acquaintance–not an ex, just someone I thought well of in high school when I could barely talk to a girl–who’s now a teacher and the author of an interesting blog. I commented on it once, back when I joined wordpress a couple of years ago and found her journal (or perhaps I’d already read it from a Facebook link, not sure). Just tonight I clicked back onto it as a link from another blog which i sometimes peruse. I was momentarily moved to write another comment or two since I honestly identify with some of her material and find it useful to consider in relation to my own life. Once again, seeing as how she’s married and has at least one kid, the unwritten no-contact rule reared its head. 

Oh well…call them #firstworldoldsingledudeproblems I suppose!

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